Professionally Personable
Brief #11: Collaboration driven by desired outcome (Archive republish)
During a recent conversation in a mentoring session for communication grad students at Northwestern, the topic of how do leaders interact with staff came up. One of the aspects I brought up was the concept of being "professionally personable" with co-workers. I went back and found this earlier post to re-share. This is still (and will continue to be) a skill all professionals can benefit from practicing in their careers.
Over the recent years there has been a horrific lie foisted upon the American worker. That you should bring your whole self to work. You should be your genuine self at work. All of the time. With everyone and anyone. Whatever that means to you. Here is a cold, hard, truth many people will not like to hear.
It is necessary for you to interact with people you do not like. And those who do not like you. And you have to make your best effort to successfully perform the work for which you are paid.
Friends. Work Friends. Frenemies. Associates. Colleagues. Whatever label you choose for co-workers, your relationships come down to how you protect and advance your interests while working with others to achieve a desired outcome.
This skill is being professionally personable. What does this mean?
Personable: pleasant or amiable in person : ATTRACTIVE (Merriam Webster Dictionary)
In short, professionally personable is being a person others want to be around and collaborate with at work. This is dynamic. It can and will vary between different people. People respond to how personable they think/feel/believe we are during interactions. This range of response spans three sectors.
Sector 1 - They will like you.
Sector 2 - They will not care about you beyond getting work done.
Sector 3 - They will not like you.
Most people want to be liked to some extent. Sector 1 is the place to be for them. With this being said, they are different degrees of being personable, from “weak” to “strong”.There are also degrees regarding being highly impersonal and neutral.
This is represented by multiple arrows in the different sections. Blue arrows in sector one, gray arrows found in sector, two, and reddish arrows in sector three. This is represented in figure 1.
How we interact with different individuals and groups can very insignificant ways. Many of us will say this is obvious. But for too many people, they have drunk the poisonous punch that they can be their “true selves” at all times at all times with all people. Or they simply overlook the influence they have to work with other people. Either of these approaches can unnecessarily harm how effective a person can be in the workplace.
How do you rate your “professional personableness”? How accurate are you? This can be an uncomfortable assessment. And one that is difficult to do on your own. A trusted individual (such as a coach, mentor, or sponsor) can help provide insight. You need to be aware of, reinforce, or rediscover your professional personableness. It is a function of not only communication and raw professionalism, but also of the persona you present to people.
Being too friendly and accessible can damage your reputation. Colleagues may take you for granted or wonder how you have so much “free time”. To get tasks done being professionally personable must be paired with commitment, trust and focus.
This goes for achieving your personal desired outcomes related to compensation, love, and self-fulfillment. Don’t be amiable and pleasant at the expense of being a push-over or not standing up for your interests. Saying “no” in a personable way is an important skill.
A quick note for leaders
When it comes to leadership, it is even more important to focus on your desired outcome in all things, including being professionally personable. This is an area when staff may not think of you as professional personable. They could be right. There are times when it’s not the right move to behave in this manner.
Accountability needs to be a constant in communication, actions, and culture. When it does, it can be practiced while being professionally personable. The key is being professional, fair, and (in most cases) treating people with dignity when doing “bad boss things”. These include giving negative feedback, disciplining an employee, or terminating a person.
When these things need to be done, often the more important audience (than the involved parties) is everyone else in your organization. They might think it was bad someone got fired, but if it was done with professionalism, dignity, and fairness there is a better chance of the tenor of your team returning to be professionally personable. And you being someone people view as a respected and desired leader.